Friday, August 9, 2019

Hierarchy






There is an unwritten hierarchy that exists here in the hospital, on the outdoor patio, in the recreation area, in the hallways, on the elevators.

Its as if royalty has arrived.  The pathway clears, people stand aside, offer their chairs, their shade, their plug in the wall for the IV pole to be connected. 

An aura of reverence and respect takes over, with a slight bow of everyone’s head, a hushed silence, nervous energy building.

But its not the nurses, or nurse practitioners, who have arrived.  Its not the doctors or surgeons that are causing such a stir.  It’s a child, hooked up to lifesaving IVs, and their parent with exhausted eyes. 

They are the absolute top of this unnatural pyramid-  the most feared; the most revered.  All of us would do anything we could to help at that moment, to offer comfort and care, but there’s so little we can do. 

Or is there?


AUDIO


Sunday, May 5, 2019

Flower


The first things to emerge are the roots burrowing deep in the soil,
      absorbing the water and nutrients that are present.

Next comes the stem, growing taller and stronger every day.

The buds suddenly appear... small and tiny,
      but with a promising glimmer of the loveliness inside.

The very last thing,
      what we've been waiting for and hoping for,
              finally emerges.

The delicate bloom
      revealing the beauty that was being created the whole time,
              but hidden in the details, the work and time and care required to get there.


Totally impossible without the foundation of roots and stems and cultivating care.




Look at it now.
      It's was so worth the wait!

Flower Audio

Monday, April 15, 2019

Om Shanti Om

Om Shanti Om- "I Radiate Peace"






Om Shanti Om
I Radiate Peace
Meditation mantras that can strike such loud chords

Peace
Peace with all life has dealt us
Peace with not knowing what is yet to come
Peace with what we have
or more importantly, who we are.

Peace, a feeling that washes over you,
a feeling somewhere between rain and sunshine,
dissolving boundaries of body, time and space.

As this mantra says, "Radiate"
Today and all days,
repeating to myself
Building the fire within
Not a fire really,
more like a glowing orb of light
warming me and others around me.

Om Shanti Om Audio




Thursday, January 3, 2019

2019 Dawning

2018
- Not the roller coaster of ‘16
- Or the energy & healing of ‘17
- But a merry-go-round...spin after spin,
-        letting us off back where we started; dizzy from the ride

Thank you for the blessings
- Nezam’s clear scans
- Misha’s growth at Purdue
- My pain reduced
- Neeve settled at Google & finding love

Thank you for the experiences
- Surprising ourselves with side crows, 30 miles & watchman’s trail
- Riverside walks & bike rides
- Montreal & Maine treats
- Family road trip filled with wonder and laughter

Thank you for the lessons
- Family and true friends come first
- Work is just work
- You can’t trust everyone,
-        but trust yourself & your heart

On to 2019...
- Just over the horizon
- Year of no fear
- Ignited hope...
-        burning bright,
-        growing more & more each day


Saturday, December 1, 2018

Going Home



Going home….
Being surrounded by family & friends
Fresh air, sunshine, green grass, falling leaves
deep roots, belonging, priorities straight,
gratitude in abundance

Going back….
Worrying about inconsequential little details
Filling the house & our days with things that don't matter
wasted energy & emotion,
disconnecting, existing, excess

We Are Home

Welcoming visitors with open arms
Active days spent with purpose,
& direction & priority

Time well spent,
energy well spent,
moments enjoyed,
life cherished



Wednesday, November 14, 2018

A Techie's Digital Detox



I love technology. I’m an electrical engineer (EE), my Dad was an EE,  my husband, and kids are all EEs.  I love using tech to enrich my life and make it easier. Whether its setting my house alarm remotely, staying in touch with our daughter at college, or optimizing my travel with Google Maps and Trip Advisor.  So when Sarah Krug of Cancer101 enlisted folks to join the “S’Mores Circle” and do a tech detox for the day, it wasn’t going to be easy.  But the reasons for doing so are compelling.  Tech is disconnecting us at the same time its connecting us.  Social interactions are being compromised.  The goal of the S’Mores Circle and the detox was to have meaningful social interaction for just one day;  a lovely autumn Sunday.

Here is how it went:
           
Instead of….
I …
Checking the weather on my phone
Went out on the front porch. 
The rain had stopped and the sun was coming out. 
Perfect for my husband and I to go for a walk.
Running the breathe app on my Apple Watch
Took a bunch of deep breaths, moved,
and went on that walk with my husband.
Writing emails
I wrote a list of things to do on Monday, because they really could wait- 
-My bio for Monmouth University
-Posting our home for sale on Zillow
-Researching jobs 
It all could wait, for a little while at least.
Turning on the TV or checking my phone for news in the morning
Lit the fire in the fireplace and picked up that book I keep meaning to finish

TIME CHECK…


ITS ONLY 10 AM??
Reviewing things to do in OneNote
Remembered the important things,
and didn’t worry about the little ones.
I did whatever I felt like at the time,
without a list driving me.
Looking at my Google Calendar to plan for the week
This was hard.  But I knew my Sunday plans,
and my Monday commitments, so I was fine.
Google Maps
Turned on 880 AM for the traffic report
Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat
The best social connections of all.
+Went to the city to meet our son and his friend
+Called our daughter at Purdue to chat

Tech I couldn’t give up completely:
Google Maps- My husband didn’t have the patience for the radio, and wanted to know if we should take the Holland or Lincoln Tunnel into NY
EZPASS & Spot Hero- far too convenient and makes the trip to the city easier

It was tempting to go even further, like when we lost power and services after Superstorm Sandy hit (sitting by candlelight, cooking with gas only, no Nespresso…). My detox reminded me of that time after Sandy, but alas I really love that cup of joe in the morning. You can say its meaningful social connection on some level, right?

I actually enjoyed my day of detox.  My husband and kids begrudgingly joined in, and in the end I think they enjoyed it too.  So thank you Sarah, I’ll be joining you next year again.  And maybe a few Sunday’s in between.